And the newest, most ungodly, reality show to hit television…Living Lohan. The show stars LiLo’s mother, Dina, and her younger, easily persuaded sister, Aliana. Was LiLo the only one to escape that family with a nice, white sounding name? Halleluiah Wood! LiLo, for all of those who are not hip to the Holloywood lingo, is code name for Lindsay “mean girl herself” Lohan. The show will most likely resemble the lives of Britney Spears and her younger sister, minus the pregnancies and your once a week limousine crotch shot. C-section style. Though, if we’re lucky, there might be a slipped nipple somewhere in there. Ms. Marilyn Monroe! Woo-Eeee!

Hot off the press! Recently, Miley Cyrus ran into LiLo at the Grammy’s, where she sat next to her all night long, against the wishes of Daddy, back in the day country heart throb, Billy Ray. The mullet that man used to have will never escape from my memory. Business in the front, party in the back, as they say. Halleluiah Wood! At the end of the evening, young, impressionable Miley, or Hannah Montana, as our young viewers know her by, was seen putting LiLo’s phone number in her Blackberry. Mr. Achy Breaky Heart did not like this. No No No. He was obviously very aware of LiLo’s past, which includes drinking underage, partying into the late night and early morning hours, and sniffing the Devil’s snow. Halleluiah Wood!

After the exchange of digits, daddy dearest deleted LiLo’s number, which apparently ended in 69, like most of LiLo’s male and female encounters. However, when questioned by a reporter who apparently noticed the number exchange and daddy’s deletion, Billy Ray commented “that’s hooey, I think Lindsay is a great girl and a perfect role model for my Miley, who is unfortunately still a virgin. She could use a night out with LaLo, or whatever the kids call her.” Halleluiah Wood!